Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
