i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
