Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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