I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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