I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
