I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
