I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
