left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
