Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
