Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
