if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
