I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She said her name was "party"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
