Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
