i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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