Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
this will be a night to untag.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Sorry my hands just texted you
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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