Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
