checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
