I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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