So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
