I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
