After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
