His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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