clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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