I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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