Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
