Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
