At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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