Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
