Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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