and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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