Don't you send me to vm
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
