Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
