Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
