I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm having to shit out rocks
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
