so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
