My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
