Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
