her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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