im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
God gave him joint rollers for hands
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
