ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
