So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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