I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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