i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We're too hungover to prance.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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