Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
