At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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