TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
