I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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