gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My bed smells like the plague
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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