I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
