she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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