hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My vagina is very pro this idea
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