she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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