Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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