Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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